I was a little nervous to post my thoughts on these subjects
as both hit close to home in many ways. As
most of my close friends and family know, I have been on a journey to improve
my health for approximately 2 years, to not much success. People think that to
help me is to offer their opinions or tips, but the last thing I need is the
opinion of someone who doesn't know what it is like. I know most of the reason
why I have not been successful is my own fault and that I am my own worst enemy
in this process, but I also know that my life right now does not bode well to
making a complete lifestyle change overnight, it costs a lot of time and money,
both of which I don’t have a lot of. Now, saying that I am trying to change the
way I am is not me saying I hate myself the way I am, or that I will put up
with someone else fat shaming me either, but I also don’t feel like we should
be praising a person for being this way, because the fact of the matter is
they, like me, are morbidly obese.
Instead of the popularity and press the body positive (BoPo
as it is known in the social media world) movement is receiving, we should be voicing
the problem and try to see the middle ground between both camps. I also would
like to stress again that this is not me fat shaming myself or these beautiful
people that feel the need to spread themselves all over twitter and Instagram,
I am truly worried about the long term effects that these people think staying
this way will cause. I am worried for myself to stay like this.
Truth is, to lose the amount of weight that I need to, diet
and exercise alone will be a long drawn out process. I am most likely looking
at surgical intervention (I have been on a waiting list for 1.5 years already)
of which is not easily accessible unless you can pay for it yourself, but I can’t.
It is extremely expensive and the only surgery that is covered in Manitoba is
highly invasive, irreversible and is a minimum 3 year wait.
I feel that success cannot be a solo achievement in this
war and it will not be helped with shame or praise, it will be defeated with truth and change. In order for any change to
happen, we must voice the problem, a problem that our governments, society and
even we, the ones it affects, are so quick to ignore. I need help. If there is a big health risk to being anorexic or bulimic and they
get help through health insurance and your provincial health plan, why can’t
they help the other end of the spectrum, both are a disease. If we start
helping and fixing the problem now, the positive implications will be aplenty.
Health costs will go down because the population will be healthier and not need
as many prescriptions and medical treatments, there will be less depression and
more happy people.
I ask the question every day, “should I embrace the me I am
today, or strive to be something better?” I believe that if we stop trying to
better ourselves, how do we reach our goals or grant our wishes? And if we don’t
fix this now, if I don’t fix this now, will we (will I) be around to do that?