I am a self proclaimed gullible person. I believe in ghosts, bigfoot and the the Lockness Monster. I also recklessly believe in people. I fall into friendship blindly and will trust just about anyone. This is one of my greatest traits, but also a my biggest downfall. Trusting everyone can get you into situations that are not always ideal. So for #Throwback Thursday here is some old photos of some great friends and a story about an old one.

Dear Me: An Open Letter to My 18 Year Old Self

When I look back at the past 8 years since I graduated high school, I have become much wiser on certain aspects of life, come into my own as a human being and developed a sense of comfort in who I have become. I thought I would write a letter to impart my little bit of knowledge and advice on my 18 year old self, in hopes that another young person will read it and learn a little something too.

My Perfect Problem

It has taken me a while, and many drafts to write this post. I have repressed this problem more than anything I have ever had to deal with. I am a perfectionist.

For people who know me personally, this may seem odd to you. You know that I generally have a cluttered space and that I do not enjoy cleaning, but hopefully after reading this, you will have a sense of how it is completely normal for this to go hand in hand with being perfect.

I should also state that this is absolutely not a humorous thing, I am not saying "Oh, I am so perfect and I can do no wrong." No I am legitimately dealing with this, it is a thing. I will start at the beginning.

As a child, I was always that kid who wouldn't eat if my food touched. I would always completely set up my Barbies "house" before I could play with them. I was controlling in my friendships. Most of my actions people brushed off as me being a brat, which made the way my brain processed things even worse. I thought I was disappointing people because I came off as snobby or ungrateful. This eventually developed into an inherent need to please people. I chose things based on how other people would react. I didn't do certain things in case someone else didn't find it appropriate or necessary.

Fast forward to high school. I suddenly became a person I like to call "Suzie High School". I was involved in as many activities and programs as I could. I fed off the praise and compliments that my teachers and friends gave, meanwhile my brain started to become this villain telling me I still wasn't good enough. I eventually started to only take on the minimum amount of classes and academic-oriented things I needed to graduate and dived right into clubs and committees. If I wasn't perfect at it, I quit. There wasn't then and to this day, an in between. I was and am still good at math because it has a definite answer, no grey area. Cut and dry.

The lowest low of my life came when I was 20. I had quit university, because I wasn't getting A+ marks, just B's (I know, still a good mark, but my brain can't process the logic), I received a promotion into management at the retail job I had worked at since I was 16 and thought I was on top of the world. A few months later, we got a new manager and I ended up being a casualty. Without getting into specifics, I was fired (without cause). I took this as the ultimate failure, and it was the first major failure I had ever had to process. I cried for weeks and even though I knew, for the most part, that what happened had nothing to do with me, I felt like I had disappointed my manager. He is the one who did something wrong, but I felt like I needed to apologize for it. I was unemployed for 10 months. This ended up pushing me into going back to school and now I have a diploma and a career, but it isn't that simple.

I went to business school, because someone else thought it was best. I became an accountant, because someone told me it was practical. I am still an accountant because I am good at it and can't fail. I have a messy room, because I couldn't get it to look exactly like I wanted it to, so I gave up trying at all. There is two sides to being a perfectionist; Everything has to be in a particular box, compartmentalized until you can't split it up any more, and the other side of it is only doing things you know you are good at. I mentally cannot wrap my mind around trying something new, unless I know I will succeed. When you are a perfectionist, happy medium is not in your vocabulary.

With the weight loss program I am in, they require you to see a psychologist. This ended up being a huge wakeup call for me. Within my first hour of talking with her, she had diagnosed me with perfectionism and people pleasing tendencies. She explained that even though I was a messy person, or had failed at loosing weight before, there was a reason...my brain. She has taught me coping mechanism's and I have read some books on dealing with this, but it isn't something that I will ever be cured of. It is the way I work, it is more than my nature, it is chemical, biological and that is fine. Just because I am dealing with this, does not make me less than. I have to approach things differently and make sure to have little to no expectations going into certain situations, that way, failure is not an outcome that I haven't considered and I won't be broadsided if it happens.

I wanted to talk about this because I feel like I can't be the only one who feels like this or has gone through this. I feel like this is especially prevalent in my generation. We are the in between: old enough to remember how it was, but young enough to know that society has changed drastically. The expectation to succeed and be the best is what we have come to know and we live in a culture of winning. I also wanted to say that it's ok, there is always going to be a first place and a last place, the trick is to realizing that coming in last still means you tried.

Happy New Year!

I want to start off this year with a fresh new start. As you can see, I have redone the theme of my little space on the internet, and I think it is pretty special. Just looking at it makes me feel calm and reminds me of all of my favourite things.

Since my last post quite a few things have happened to me and I am going to tell you about it all over the next while, but today I want to reminisce. I was a bad blogger and neglected Just Paige the last few months and so I am going to do a Zeitgeist of my 2015.

We started off the year on pretty exciting terms. I started my new job and was given a lot more responsibility then I am used to. I think I did ok with it and eventually got used to the new changes that comes with entering a new role, and in my case, a new company. I have learned so much through this new opportunity, things I never expected to know, and I think it has changed me for the better. (que Wicked music)

I turned 25 this year and it was a bit of a shock. I don't feel a quarter of a century old and I am not sure I will ever get used to saying that I am in my "late twenties" now.

I made my first visit to the Weight Wise clinic in Edmonton, which has inevitably changed my life entirely and I will be forever grateful. The clinic was able to give me answers to a lot of health issues that have been plaguing me my entire life. I am still waiting for surgery (Gastric Bypass), but I am getting closer and I have them to thank for putting me on a path to success.

During one of my many trips to Edmonton, we made a side trip to Calgary and spent a weekend with a family friend, Laurel. She took us to Banff National Park and I saw Lake Louise and the beautiful Fairmont hotel. We road the Gondolas, shopped, ate great food and had an amazing time together. We ended the weekend with a trip to meet my new baby cousin Alex, (My cousin Matt and Ivy's son) and Ivy made us the best banana waffles. They rivalled the likes of IHOP (which is my fave breakfast joint). I made memories I will cherish always.

I went on an amazing adventure with two renewed friend

s, Michael and BeeJay. I attended, along with my sister and a few other friends, the travelling show of The Book of Mormon. Though it was extremely offensive (in all the funniest ways possible), I still think it is one of the best shows I have ever seen. That night we also went to do an Escape Room activity, and though we did not escape in time, it was a great experience and I couldn't have imagined a better team to try it with.

This year I also went to 4 concerts. Coleman Hell/DCF, Imagine Dragons, Ed Sheeran and my second time seeing One Direction. Imagine Dragons put on an amazing rock show and is phenomenal live. Ed Sheeran was truly a life altering experience. He does a complete show with just his voice and his guitar. I would jump at the chance to see him again. Both shows were within a couple weeks of each other and made my wait until the best night of my life a lot easier. Coleman Hell & DCF were a pleasant surprise. A cheap night out to The Pyramid in Winnipeg and they are now both two of my favourite artists.

July 25, 2015 will go down in history as one of those nights you still remember 25 years down the road. It may seem a little dramatic for a boy band, but it wasn't just the main event, One Direction, that made the night amazing. I spent it with three of my best friends, Laura, Laura and Kristy, and my big sister, Brianne. We ended up upgrading our not-so-great seats to 8th row from the stage and it was amazing. The crowd was infectious, the music was heart-thumping and my energy was sky high.

The day following the concert, I did something that I have always been terrified of. I got my first tattoo. I was always planning on getting one, but I wanted something meaningful. The arrow is a sign that my friends and I crossed paths at the best time in our lives, the three tails on the end stand for the three of us and the arrow head is a glyph that stands for creativity. It is made even more special by the fact that we designed it together and all came to an agreement two days before what it was actually going to look like.

Another highlight of my year was being asked to be a bridesmaid in my friend Mary's wedding. The dresses are bought, the day is planned and I cannot wait to celebrate her special day with her. I wish her and Paul the best of luck in their future and am looking forward to see what their life brings.

One of the most unusual things that I started this year was my YouTube channel with my friend Laura Wallis. Its called Lipstick & Liquor and is a shining light in my rather dull life. We discuss our favourite things, review the concerts we attend, ramble on about nothing and play games to test our wits. In May, Laura moved away, making YouTube sit on the back burner a little. Though the transition has been difficult, she is only 3 hours away and we have made the best of what it is. I try to visit once and month  and she comes home just as often. We took two months off at the end of the year to really decide what we wanted out of the channel, and I think we have found it. I can't wait to see what opportunities that brings in 2016.

Now that I have written down my favourite things of 2015, I am realizing that my life is filled with a lot more excitement than I give it credit for. In 2016, I want to banish the thoughts that make me think my life isn't full of amazing and show more gratitude towards my little corner of the world. It is these things, events and people that I will remember on the tough days, though they are becoming fewer and farther between. Happy New Year!!

In the comments, tell me your favourite things from 2015!

My Hobbies: Wedding Hair

In an effort to tell you people more about me I have decided to show you some pictures of my favourite hobby. I really enjoy doing people's hair and have recently started doing wedding parties. If you have any friends or you yourself are getting married. Contact me for rates and information. Happy Viewing!

Happy Easter!!

A little minion egg I received from one of my favourite littles, Devyn.

It is such a wonderful time of the year! The dreaded snow is finally disappearing, jackets are less bulkier, i can picture myself wearing flip flops with most outfits and Cadburys Creme Eggs are out!!

I just wanted to put up a post to wish you all a Happy Easter, even if you don't celebrate it, lets celebrate spring on the horizon (and an extra day off work).

Have a great day :)

Beautiful Fridays #2 - I Gave Up My Soul...

This week marked the end of an era. I traded in my 2012 Kia Soul for a 2014 Kia Rondo. I know Fridays are supposed to be about beauty products and such, but I think my new car is pretty beautiful as well. As much as I loved my Soul, it was not fitting the needs of my lifestyle. On a recent trip into Winnipeg and of course to Ikea, we realized that even with the seats pulled down, the flat packs from Ikea, were a tight squeeze. So here for Beautiful Friday I am here to introduce you to my new car, Dixie. I named it Dixie because another era has ended. Saturday, February 2, 2014 is the day that my family has decided to put my 16 year old tiny toy poodle, Dixie Buttons, to sleep. She has lived such a nice life and has come to the point where quality of life needs to be considered. So in commemoration of her, my car is named Dixie.

She is a fire engine red, hot Rondo. She packs a big punch in her small shape. Inside she has a heated steering wheel and heated seats, power chairs, leather interior and best of all HUGE cargo space.Most of all I am the only person outside of the dealership and car manufacturing plant to have driven her. She had 19KMs on her when I got it. I also have command start now. I can start my car from my bed in the mornings (so wonderful). So below, have a look and if you like it, or think you would like my old car, go see Terry Coleman @ Planet Kia in Brandon.

Don't forget to follow me on Bloglovin' or Google+ and share this with all your friends. Thanks :)

Get to Know Me: 25 Questions Tag

I found this tag while considering what exactly to tell you people about myself. I think this covers the basics.

1. Do you have a middle name?
Yes, Jeanette. Its a family name. My dad wanted to name me so that he could call me PJ. Not once has he called me PJ.
2. What was your favorite subject in school?
I am a geek, I loved math. Still do, hence the whole accountant thing. 
3. What's your favorite drink?
Coca-Cola. or Pepsi-cola, really anything cola. My downfall :(
4. What's your favorite song at the moment?

The Wire by HAIM
5. What would you name your children?
I only have girl names. They are a secret so no one steals them.
6. Do you participate in any sports?
I played softball from ages 5-17. I now play on a beer league in the summer.
7. What's your favorite book? 
Still is and always will be The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series by Anne Brashares
8. What's your favorite color?
Mint Green
9. What's your favorite animal?
Owls! They're so majestic.
10. What's your favorite perfume?
Poppy Flower by Coach, though this changes daily. I have a problem with expensive things, remember.
11. What's your favorite holiday?
Labour Day. Weird right? I like how it signifies the end of summer and most people get it off work too!
12. Have you graduated from High School?
Yes, 2008. I am soooo old.
13. Have you been out of the country?
Yes, but just mildly into the states.
14. Do you speak any other languages?
I can speak a small amount of french, enough to ask where the bathroom is and stay conversational in small talk. I can also say a few phrases in flemish, which is my mother's heritage.
15. Do you have any siblings?
Yes, a sister who is 5 years older and a brother who is 7 years older.
16. What's your favorite store?
IKEA! and Sephora gets a close second.
17. What's your favorite restaurant?
There is a vegan burger joint in Winnipeg called Boon Burger, it is fantastical and I don't even miss the meat!
18. Do you like school? 
Yeah, I didn't mind it much. I was pretty good at school so it was easy to like.
19. Who are some of your favorite YouTubers?
Tyler Oakley, Sprinkle of Glitter, Rachael Whitehurst, Meghan Rosette, Hannah Hart, Mamrie Hart, Grace Helbig, The Shaytards & CTFxC (just to name a few)

20. What's your favorite movie? 
The remake of Great Expectations with Gwynyth Paltrow and Robert DeNiro
21. What are some of your favorite TV shows?
Parenthood, Scandal, Orange is the New Black, Lost Girl, Orphan Black, Pretty Little Liars, really anything ABC Family.
22. PC or Mac?
I'm a PC user now, but in college I had a Mac that just got too old and I was too broke to replace it. My sister used it now because she stepped on her laptop and crushed the screen.
23. What phone do you have?
iPhone 4S - White - 16GB
24. How tall are you?
5'9"
25. Any pets? 
Yes, my baby girl, a 16 year old tiny toy poodle named Dixie Buttons. She is sooo old, but still trucking. My sister's dog also lives with us, a yorkshire terrier named jake.

There you have it, an insiders look into my life. Hope you feel you truly know me now. Any other questions, hit the comments.

Please do me a HUGE favor and share this on facebook, pinterest or any other social media that you choose! Thanks.

how the cookie will crumble...

Alright so I have taken a week to recuperate from the massive amounts of people that read this blog? (just kidding...there is like two of you...hi mom) Anyways I have also taken this week to think about what exactly it is I want to talk about with you, my people. I have come up with the following schedule that will commence on January 20th, 2014.

Mondays will now and forever (until i choose to change it anyways) be known as MOTIVATIONAL MONDAYS. This is much like how most bloggers do it. I will have a stylized picture, quote or combination of the two, that I found inspiring or just pretty. I will ramble on about how I see the world through the eyes of the image. Deep right?

Tuesdays are going to be Tasty (maybe thirsty) Tuesday's. With my new health kick I am on the hunt for innovative and delicious meals, snacks or drinks (occasionally of the alcoholic variety) that are low on calories, but big on taste. I will take a new recipe each week and make it and give a review on taste, difficulty to prepare, etc. Leave recipes in the comments if you have suggestions.

Why Not Wednesday's will be my day to just shoot the shit. Miscellaneous if you will. Everything will be touched on and nothing is off the table. If you have questions you want to ask me, if I have questions I want to ask you. Pretty much anything goes!

Thursday's are going to be pretty quick little posts. They will include updates on my weight loss, stories of my struggles with my resolutions and just real life tidbits that may or may not tickle your interests.

Friday is going to be reserved for my obsessions, very expensive makeup products. On this day you will find anything from a haul, hair tutorial, makeup tutorial, review of a beauty product, rant of a beauty product or maybe even a giveaway (when I have more than just my mother to give it to).

So there you have it folks...if you didn't notice that means that there will be 5 posts a week!! As long as I do not burn out or loose my passion for writing this blog, it will happen. So if you have any words of encouragement, now would be the time to say it.

For the remainder of this week I will have 1-2 posts giving you a deeper insight into me as a person. If you have any pressing questions about me, leave them in the comments!

Please do me a HUGE favor and share this on facebook, pinterest or any other social media that you choose! Thanks.