When I look back at the past 8 years since I graduated high school, I have become much wiser on certain aspects of life, come into my own as a human being and developed a sense of comfort in who I have become. I thought I would write a letter to impart my little bit of knowledge and advice on my 18 year old self, in hopes that another young person will read it and learn a little something too.

My Perfect Problem

It has taken me a while, and many drafts to write this post. I have repressed this problem more than anything I have ever had to deal with. I am a perfectionist.

For people who know me personally, this may seem odd to you. You know that I generally have a cluttered space and that I do not enjoy cleaning, but hopefully after reading this, you will have a sense of how it is completely normal for this to go hand in hand with being perfect.

I should also state that this is absolutely not a humorous thing, I am not saying "Oh, I am so perfect and I can do no wrong." No I am legitimately dealing with this, it is a thing. I will start at the beginning.

As a child, I was always that kid who wouldn't eat if my food touched. I would always completely set up my Barbies "house" before I could play with them. I was controlling in my friendships. Most of my actions people brushed off as me being a brat, which made the way my brain processed things even worse. I thought I was disappointing people because I came off as snobby or ungrateful. This eventually developed into an inherent need to please people. I chose things based on how other people would react. I didn't do certain things in case someone else didn't find it appropriate or necessary.

Fast forward to high school. I suddenly became a person I like to call "Suzie High School". I was involved in as many activities and programs as I could. I fed off the praise and compliments that my teachers and friends gave, meanwhile my brain started to become this villain telling me I still wasn't good enough. I eventually started to only take on the minimum amount of classes and academic-oriented things I needed to graduate and dived right into clubs and committees. If I wasn't perfect at it, I quit. There wasn't then and to this day, an in between. I was and am still good at math because it has a definite answer, no grey area. Cut and dry.

The lowest low of my life came when I was 20. I had quit university, because I wasn't getting A+ marks, just B's (I know, still a good mark, but my brain can't process the logic), I received a promotion into management at the retail job I had worked at since I was 16 and thought I was on top of the world. A few months later, we got a new manager and I ended up being a casualty. Without getting into specifics, I was fired (without cause). I took this as the ultimate failure, and it was the first major failure I had ever had to process. I cried for weeks and even though I knew, for the most part, that what happened had nothing to do with me, I felt like I had disappointed my manager. He is the one who did something wrong, but I felt like I needed to apologize for it. I was unemployed for 10 months. This ended up pushing me into going back to school and now I have a diploma and a career, but it isn't that simple.

I went to business school, because someone else thought it was best. I became an accountant, because someone told me it was practical. I am still an accountant because I am good at it and can't fail. I have a messy room, because I couldn't get it to look exactly like I wanted it to, so I gave up trying at all. There is two sides to being a perfectionist; Everything has to be in a particular box, compartmentalized until you can't split it up any more, and the other side of it is only doing things you know you are good at. I mentally cannot wrap my mind around trying something new, unless I know I will succeed. When you are a perfectionist, happy medium is not in your vocabulary.

With the weight loss program I am in, they require you to see a psychologist. This ended up being a huge wakeup call for me. Within my first hour of talking with her, she had diagnosed me with perfectionism and people pleasing tendencies. She explained that even though I was a messy person, or had failed at loosing weight before, there was a reason...my brain. She has taught me coping mechanism's and I have read some books on dealing with this, but it isn't something that I will ever be cured of. It is the way I work, it is more than my nature, it is chemical, biological and that is fine. Just because I am dealing with this, does not make me less than. I have to approach things differently and make sure to have little to no expectations going into certain situations, that way, failure is not an outcome that I haven't considered and I won't be broadsided if it happens.

I wanted to talk about this because I feel like I can't be the only one who feels like this or has gone through this. I feel like this is especially prevalent in my generation. We are the in between: old enough to remember how it was, but young enough to know that society has changed drastically. The expectation to succeed and be the best is what we have come to know and we live in a culture of winning. I also wanted to say that it's ok, there is always going to be a first place and a last place, the trick is to realizing that coming in last still means you tried.

Happy New Year!

I want to start off this year with a fresh new start. As you can see, I have redone the theme of my little space on the internet, and I think it is pretty special. Just looking at it makes me feel calm and reminds me of all of my favourite things.

Since my last post quite a few things have happened to me and I am going to tell you about it all over the next while, but today I want to reminisce. I was a bad blogger and neglected Just Paige the last few months and so I am going to do a Zeitgeist of my 2015.

We started off the year on pretty exciting terms. I started my new job and was given a lot more responsibility then I am used to. I think I did ok with it and eventually got used to the new changes that comes with entering a new role, and in my case, a new company. I have learned so much through this new opportunity, things I never expected to know, and I think it has changed me for the better. (que Wicked music)

I turned 25 this year and it was a bit of a shock. I don't feel a quarter of a century old and I am not sure I will ever get used to saying that I am in my "late twenties" now.

I made my first visit to the Weight Wise clinic in Edmonton, which has inevitably changed my life entirely and I will be forever grateful. The clinic was able to give me answers to a lot of health issues that have been plaguing me my entire life. I am still waiting for surgery (Gastric Bypass), but I am getting closer and I have them to thank for putting me on a path to success.

During one of my many trips to Edmonton, we made a side trip to Calgary and spent a weekend with a family friend, Laurel. She took us to Banff National Park and I saw Lake Louise and the beautiful Fairmont hotel. We road the Gondolas, shopped, ate great food and had an amazing time together. We ended the weekend with a trip to meet my new baby cousin Alex, (My cousin Matt and Ivy's son) and Ivy made us the best banana waffles. They rivalled the likes of IHOP (which is my fave breakfast joint). I made memories I will cherish always.

I went on an amazing adventure with two renewed friend

s, Michael and BeeJay. I attended, along with my sister and a few other friends, the travelling show of The Book of Mormon. Though it was extremely offensive (in all the funniest ways possible), I still think it is one of the best shows I have ever seen. That night we also went to do an Escape Room activity, and though we did not escape in time, it was a great experience and I couldn't have imagined a better team to try it with.

This year I also went to 4 concerts. Coleman Hell/DCF, Imagine Dragons, Ed Sheeran and my second time seeing One Direction. Imagine Dragons put on an amazing rock show and is phenomenal live. Ed Sheeran was truly a life altering experience. He does a complete show with just his voice and his guitar. I would jump at the chance to see him again. Both shows were within a couple weeks of each other and made my wait until the best night of my life a lot easier. Coleman Hell & DCF were a pleasant surprise. A cheap night out to The Pyramid in Winnipeg and they are now both two of my favourite artists.

July 25, 2015 will go down in history as one of those nights you still remember 25 years down the road. It may seem a little dramatic for a boy band, but it wasn't just the main event, One Direction, that made the night amazing. I spent it with three of my best friends, Laura, Laura and Kristy, and my big sister, Brianne. We ended up upgrading our not-so-great seats to 8th row from the stage and it was amazing. The crowd was infectious, the music was heart-thumping and my energy was sky high.

The day following the concert, I did something that I have always been terrified of. I got my first tattoo. I was always planning on getting one, but I wanted something meaningful. The arrow is a sign that my friends and I crossed paths at the best time in our lives, the three tails on the end stand for the three of us and the arrow head is a glyph that stands for creativity. It is made even more special by the fact that we designed it together and all came to an agreement two days before what it was actually going to look like.

Another highlight of my year was being asked to be a bridesmaid in my friend Mary's wedding. The dresses are bought, the day is planned and I cannot wait to celebrate her special day with her. I wish her and Paul the best of luck in their future and am looking forward to see what their life brings.

One of the most unusual things that I started this year was my YouTube channel with my friend Laura Wallis. Its called Lipstick & Liquor and is a shining light in my rather dull life. We discuss our favourite things, review the concerts we attend, ramble on about nothing and play games to test our wits. In May, Laura moved away, making YouTube sit on the back burner a little. Though the transition has been difficult, she is only 3 hours away and we have made the best of what it is. I try to visit once and month  and she comes home just as often. We took two months off at the end of the year to really decide what we wanted out of the channel, and I think we have found it. I can't wait to see what opportunities that brings in 2016.

Now that I have written down my favourite things of 2015, I am realizing that my life is filled with a lot more excitement than I give it credit for. In 2016, I want to banish the thoughts that make me think my life isn't full of amazing and show more gratitude towards my little corner of the world. It is these things, events and people that I will remember on the tough days, though they are becoming fewer and farther between. Happy New Year!!

In the comments, tell me your favourite things from 2015!

The Itch.

I am, by nature, a creative person. I crave something to shove my eccentric thoughts into and in my career, this is seriously deprived. I want to create something lasting, something that will follow me and I can be proud of.

I long for a day when I can spend my days immersed in culture and inspiration that can feed this creative monster that has recently been growing inside me. I want to write, I want to dream, I want to soar for the unattainable and possibly...reach it.

If I keep suppressing this side of me, I feel as though it will reach the depths of my being and disappear. I don't want that. What kind of life would I have if it broke away from me? I don't want to live in a world where I can't see that it is cerulean, not blue. Where a book is just words and not a story waiting to be told.  I want to be heard, I want to listen, I want. I want more.

We live in a world where people compartmentalize their lives and don't show their entire self to all parts of their life. I hate the idea that people are not truly being themselves and it really scares me that I have so easily followed their lead. I have slumped and become complacent with just being fine or ok. Its not OK. I want to succeed, possibly need to succeed, but at what cost? Is success and materialistic wealth worth the pressure? Can I live with mediocre? Can I live with so many questions, and no answers?

I want to feel fulfilled and inspired. I want to travel and adapt to a better lifestyle. I want to loose my fear of failure. I am grateful for what I have, but there is more to life and I want to experience it all...

...Someday.

Motivational Monday: Beating the Monday Blues

Are you like me and have a hard time starting the week off right? Is Monday generally your grumpy day? Do you fall asleep at your desk? Then like me, you maybe a sufferer of the Monday Blues.

Historically symptoms have included fatigue, head ache, body aches, extreme moodiness and sometimes even result in overeating and feeling even worse.

So how do we stop it? Well, thats a good question and the answer has eluded me since I developed this problem early in adulthood. You can try and escape it, but it will always sneak up on you. So here's a thought, use your Monday Blues for the better. If you want to be alone for most of the day, be alone, but be productive. Read that book that you have had on your night stand forever. Go for a long walk and try and grab some endorphins. You could also be like me and write your thoughts and feelings down. Try and create a silver lining, make some lemonade...

Well have a good Monday, I hope this has helped you in some way to battle the blues. Tell me in the comments if you have any tips on this or what you like to do when your not feeling up to much.

Byeee!

My New Relationship with Myself

Hello! Long time no talk. I apologise for that. I have been feeling slightly unmotivated, uncreative and lacking in drive to do much of anything these days, but I recently received some news that has given me a push, and I thought I would tell you about it.

As most of you know, about 16 months ago I began a journey of self discovery and a search for a healthy, balanced life. The last year I have had a few set backs health wise and it started to really get me down the last few months of 2014. Then I got the call. A call I had been waiting for. My referral into the Edmonton Adult Bariatric Clinic had gone through and I was finally going to be making the TWELVE HOUR road trip to see the best of the best in weight loss.

My appointment was this past Friday and it was life changing. It turns out I am the way I am (in terms of weight), not just because of bad habits and poor decisions. I have been diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). If this sounds familiar, you probably watched the TLC show My Fat Fabulous Life, which is about Whitney Thore and her journey with this disease.

So what is PCOS? That's a good question. The little I know about it so far is that it is an insulin resistance, not to be mistaken for Diabetes, though it can lead to Diabetes if not treated. Insulin is a hormone that your body produces from sugar. Since my body is resistant to it, it causes massive problems for all my hormones, because they are trying to make up the difference. This causes gynaecological problems, unwanted hair growth, skin problems and unfortunately, hard to loose weight gain.

This, paired with my chronic iron deficient anaemia and digestive issues, is a perfect storm for preventing weight loss. The clinic that I went to is using medication, lifestyle changes and education to help me become more healthy on the inside. Then, once I have completed the expectations set out by a team of health professionals, I will receive Gastric Bypass Surgery. This may seem quite invasive, and to some it may seem like an easy way out. I have asked myself the same questions: Is this just a short cut, should I be just doing diet and excersize, should I keep trying on my own? and the answer is, I can't. I have tried time and again with no success, and with this diagnosis, it will never be possible. This is my means to an end. I need a change and it shouldn't matter to anyone but me how I get there (so long as it is safe and healthy).

The diagnosis came with many emotions, the biggest being relief. It was the first time a doctor has sat, listened to what I had to say, delivered precise questions with no judgement and knew exactly what was wrong. A month ago, I was so lost and floundering, I didn't want to get out of bed. Now I have a new job, a diagnosis and most importantly a light at the end of a very curvy, dark tunnel.

That's it, your all caught up! Leave a message in the comments and share this post on Pinterest and Facebook if you enjoyed it. Hopefully, I will keep this creative juice flowing and continue to inform you on my progress with PCOS and the Edmonton Adult Bariatric Clinic.

THANKS!!

Happy New Year!

This past year I found myself. It was a long search and one that I never thought I would accomplish, but it happened. I went on adventures, I fell into step with some of the best friends I have ever had and most of all, I lived. I stepped out of my comfort zone, I said yes. I stayed up late and had experiences. I travelled and made memories. I discovered a path that was right for me, albeit somewhat winding and messy, but it works. 

I am still walking down that road, but I can see the destination just over the horizon, the city lights casting a glow that excites me to my core. I can see where I want to be, but can still feel where I came from. Hello new year, nice to meet you. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. #2014

Motivational Monday, Just Because...

Well, I obviously have commitment issues with this blog. I have once again failed at setting a posting schedule for myself. Summer has just been incredibly busy. I have been doing distance courses, visiting with family, catching up on TV I neglected all winter and planning my next trip. As I set out to do this year (have adventures if your new here) I am going on my next adventure. In ten short days I am going to be road tripping 17 short hours to Chicago to see One Direction. Please do not tell me how as an adult I shouldn't listen to or like One Direction, their music makes me happy and I deserve no judgement for doing something that makes me happy.

So now onto the motivational message of this post. I hope that by me doing something somewhat extraordinary to achieve happiness that it inspires you to take a big chance if the reward is beneficial to your happiness. Shouldn't we all try a little harder to find the promise land of life. Happiness is a choice. You can choose to say no to opportunities, you can choose to stay sedentary in life and never take chances. Or you can say yes, say yes to adventure, say yes to opportunities that might scare you, say yes to you. You are the most important person in your life and you deserve to be just as happy as anybody else.

Happy Monday!!

At War With Myself: #BodyPositivity #Fatshame

Recently, my twitter and Instagram feeds have been blowing up with two different social media movements. There is the #fatshame and the #bodypositivity. I have taken some time to think about these trends carefully and I am now at a war with myself.

I was a little nervous to post my thoughts on these subjects as both hit close to home in many ways.  As most of my close friends and family know, I have been on a journey to improve my health for approximately 2 years, to not much success. People think that to help me is to offer their opinions or tips, but the last thing I need is the opinion of someone who doesn't know what it is like. I know most of the reason why I have not been successful is my own fault and that I am my own worst enemy in this process, but I also know that my life right now does not bode well to making a complete lifestyle change overnight, it costs a lot of time and money, both of which I don’t have a lot of. Now, saying that I am trying to change the way I am is not me saying I hate myself the way I am, or that I will put up with someone else fat shaming me either, but I also don’t feel like we should be praising a person for being this way, because the fact of the matter is they, like me, are morbidly obese.

Instead of the popularity and press the body positive (BoPo as it is known in the social media world) movement is receiving, we should be voicing the problem and try to see the middle ground between both camps. I also would like to stress again that this is not me fat shaming myself or these beautiful people that feel the need to spread themselves all over twitter and Instagram, I am truly worried about the long term effects that these people think staying this way will cause. I am worried for myself to stay like this.

Truth is, to lose the amount of weight that I need to, diet and exercise alone will be a long drawn out process. I am most likely looking at surgical intervention (I have been on a waiting list for 1.5 years already) of which is not easily accessible unless you can pay for it yourself, but I can’t. It is extremely expensive and the only surgery that is covered in Manitoba is highly invasive, irreversible and is a minimum 3 year wait.

I feel that success cannot be a solo achievement in this war and it will not be helped with shame or praise, it will be defeated with truth and change. In order for any change to happen, we must voice the problem, a problem that our governments, society and even we, the ones it affects, are so quick to ignore. I need help. If there is a big health risk to being anorexic or bulimic and they get help through health insurance and your provincial health plan, why can’t they help the other end of the spectrum, both are a disease. If we start helping and fixing the problem now, the positive implications will be aplenty. Health costs will go down because the population will be healthier and not need as many prescriptions and medical treatments, there will be less depression and more happy people.

I ask the question every day, “should I embrace the me I am today, or strive to be something better?” I believe that if we stop trying to better ourselves, how do we reach our goals or grant our wishes? And if we don’t fix this now, if I don’t fix this now, will we (will I) be around to do that?

Hello Again!

I have been gone on sabbatical. I figured out that I had made too many promises to this blog and maybe myself. These promises were somewhat unrealistic with my current life situations. I have now come back, refreshed and with a keen sense of what I want out of this blog and what I want to share on it. Instead of the planned days and harsh schedule that I tried to adhere to, I am going to go free form. I was starting to feel extremely burnt out trying to come up with a new lesson to preach for Motivational Mondays and plan a recipe to try for Tasty Tuesdays, and that was never what this blog was supposed to be.

I made this blog to document my life and to talk about things that I love. It was meant as a reprieve from my office day job. It was supposed to be a creative outlet. So from now on I will promise a minimum of one post per week. That may be more and, quite frankly, if I am busy with life or on holiday, it could be less. I do promise though that if I do miss a week, it will be made up for in the posts that come from needing to miss.

I have missed this, the feel of the keys floating away as I type my thoughts. I miss the comments, though few and far between, I miss looking at my statistics and realizing that people I don't know have read what I have wrote, and on some occasions, come back to read again.

So I suppose I do have a Motivational Monday lesson that can be learnt here. Do something for you, and if it becomes work, stop. We have enough work in our lives that the things we do to escape it should not be hard, but easy.

Motivational Monday #14: Real Men Don't Buy Girls

Recently, 300 Nigerian school girls were kidnapped by the Boko Haram. They have tortured and taken the innocence of many of them and have threatened to attack more schools and take more children. They have been said to have sold the girls that they call "slaves" for as little as $12. This isn't right, just because it isn't in our backyards doesn't mean we can't do anything to help. I ask you today to take to what people my age know best, go to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. and take a selfie holding a sign with the #bringbackourgirls. Make sure to tag our government officials in it. If we can be heard, maybe we can give a voice back to the girls of Nigeria that have been silenced.

To read more on the story here and to track the progress of our efforts, please visit https://www.facebook.com/bringbackourgirls or track the hashtag on social media.

Motivational Monday #13: Just Keep Breathing

Your hero wears a cape, that's cute. Mine wears a bass and a camera.

This is Charles Trippy. He is one of my favourite YouTubers and the greatest inspiration in my life. He has been dealt a shitty hand, but everyday he gets up shakes off the day before and keeps filming it for the world to see. Three years ago, while on tour with his band We the Kings, he had his first seizure. It turned out to be a brain tumor, he got it removed and kept going. Months passed and he had another seizure, another tumor and brain cancer. He had surgery and is now on his 7th round of chemo and it has shrunk tremendously. Recently, he and wife, Alli, announced that they are separating. Charles could have gave up, but he didn't. Everyday since the announcement of their breakup he has posted his daily vlog as if nothing has happened. He kept on breathing.
I challenge you to follow in his footsteps. If something bad happens, keep going, keep trying and it will help you get through.

Motivational Monday #12: Good Vibrations

I am a true believer in karma. I believe that we are rewarded by doing good. I believe that everyone has the fate and luck they deserve. What you put out into this world matters. Someone is always watching, it could be any god you believe in, it could be Santa, it could just be your boss or teacher, but making sure that you let them see the best of you at all times will give you a leg up on getting the most out of life. 

Life may seem unfair, but just knowing that at the end of the tunnel there is a light will give you more energy to keep going then you know. Sometimes the road is really bumpy and there may be an accident or two on the way to the destination, but the effort is almost always rewarded.

I don't have any life stories or personal anecdotes to accompany todays entry because I am still in the start of my journey, I haven't received the big pay off at the end, but just knowing that its coming gives me hope, and whats life without a little hope.

Happy Monday!

Motivational Monday #11: Decisions, Decisions...

"Fear has overcome me. I have become paralyzed and fallen back into familiar habits. I have failed." 

You can't let these become you, these words are poison and will not let you accomplish anything. Over this journey of life, I have realized that nothing good ever came from me saying "No". You have to make a conscience effort to start deciding to do things and saying yes for things to start happening. It will be a pretty boring life if you don't. The old adage is, you don't remember the nights you stayed at home in your pajamas in thirty years, you remember the nights you accomplished dreams and met new people and started becoming the you that you could be proud of. 

So goals for the week:

Say yes to at least one opportunity you normally wouldn't.

Make a decision that you are proud of and maybe have been putting off.

Happy Monday!

Happy Easter!!

A little minion egg I received from one of my favourite littles, Devyn.

It is such a wonderful time of the year! The dreaded snow is finally disappearing, jackets are less bulkier, i can picture myself wearing flip flops with most outfits and Cadburys Creme Eggs are out!!

I just wanted to put up a post to wish you all a Happy Easter, even if you don't celebrate it, lets celebrate spring on the horizon (and an extra day off work).

Have a great day :)

Motivational Monday #10: Friends

Recently, I went through a pretty horrible time when it came to my friends. I had a fight with one, that really wasn't either of our faults, but still ended very badly. This friendship will never be like it was and what I realized is that I am ok with that. My group of friends has not really changed since high school, but I have figured out through this experience that I have. My other friends said that the disagreement would not have an effect on our relationship, but I can't help thinking that it did. To me this is also ok.

What I am trying to get at on this wonderful Monday morning is that moving on and growing up are good things. Sometimes we have to move away from what we have always known to really find something great. Before you get ahead of yourselves, especially if this is my old friends reading this, I am not saying that my old relationships have ended or are ending. I am just at a point where I got  to comfortable and realized that my friends were moving on, and I was stuck. I have grown, I have learned, I have gone out of my comfort zone and what I have found on the other side is that I will always have my friends, but perhaps I have room for new ones too.

I recently started socializing with friends from work. They are a great group! I feel that for the most part, we are all at roughly the same stage in life and we all have so much in common. I can definitely call them close friends now and I feel great about it.

So if you are feeling stuck, possibly feel as if you are growing away from your lifelong friends, its ok. If they are meant to be your friends forever, they will grow with you, and if they don't, that's ok too.

Motivational Monday #9: Relax, Just do it...

Seems like an easy thing to do right, relaxing. More often then not I find it one of the most difficult things to do. I cannot let my body relax. I am always tensed up and clenching my teeth or tapping my foot. I even have restless legs when I sleep. I am forever on edge and I hate that about myself. My theory is lately that if something is going badly in my life I need to analyze and stress about it and if its going good I am continually waiting for the other shoe to drop and end up not enjoying the good.
This was demonstrated this past weekend. I was at a great concert in the city with great people and all I could do was stress about what was going wrong and I was paranoid about things that, rationally, I knew probably wouldn't happen. I could not sit back and enjoy that one of my favorite bands was playing a mere 10 feet from where I was standing.
This I believe is one of my worst flaws. I do not think of this as shaming myself for admitting that I have flaws or that it makes me a pessimist or whatever. I am a firm believer in admission helping the healing. If you can't admit to yourself when you need help or that your doing something you shouldn't be, you will never break the habit and long term will cause more harm. So this Motivational Monday may not be as uplifting as most, but what I am trying to say with it is, relax and enjoy the ride, admit when you have done wrong, but don't apologize for being you either.
Have a good week!

Motivational Monday #8: Limbo

I am currently at a point in my life that I am not very comfortable with. I call it Limbo. I have recently graduated and am still trying to further my education to ensure a stable career. I do not have a significant other and I am happy with that. I am living at home, attempting to save money and pay down student debt. I have a job, maybe not my forever job, but a job in my field nonetheless. What I find discomforting is that all of my friends seem to be leaps and bounds ahead of me. Most are living on their own, most are in relationships with the people they are probably going to be with for the long haul and some even have mortgages and back yards. I can't help but feel slightly behind and somewhat envious of where they are. 

What I have come to realize, quite recently, is that maybe I can't compare where I am with where they are. Maybe things that I find hard right now seem to come easy to them because they got a head start. Maybe things that I find easy, are what they struggle with. You can never compare your life to someone else, because that's just it, its your life. Its how you live that counts. 

So maybe I don't have that cute apartment or that perfect husband, but I do have a nice new car, I have a job with new friends and I am content for the moment. I am in Limbo, but it is my beginning and that will change soon.

:)

Motivational Monday #7 - Alright, Alright, Alright

Gratitude, thankful, appreciation. They all generally mean the same thing. Being grateful for what you have in life will only make you a better person. In his acceptance speech at the Oscars this year, Matthew McConaughey stated "It's a scientific fact that Gratitude Reciprocates". If you are thankful and appreciate your life, people in your life, your struggles, your wins, your opportunities, it will be worth it.

 Karma plays a big part. Even if you don't believe in karma, you have to realize the potential in not holding on to things, or grudges. What ever you believe in, whether it be god, aliens or evolution it has been proven that if you pay it forward, it will come back to you. This can be said for good or bad. Keep this in mind with how you live your life. Don't perpetuate hate, don't keep a rumor mill turning. You are in charge of your life and how you live it, just know that someone, somewhere is watching. That someone could even be your future self and you do not want to live with regret, it just weighs you down and eventually will swallow you whole.

Ok I am rambling now. Final words: Gratitude really does change everything.

Feeling inspired, share this with all your friends so they can be inspired by you!

Following My Own Advice...

On Monday, I wrote about being complacent and board and I realized, sitting at work today, that I do not follow my own advice. This blog was meant to spark some adventure and spice into my life and instead I am writing like I have, but truth be told I am my own worst enemy.

I have decided that no matter how tired I am after work and doing school work, I am going to attempt to leave my house every evening. This does not have to be to go out, or go to dinner or spend money (of which I don't have). I just want to start LIVING. I am stuck in a rut and I want you to be my motivation. I need to have things to tell you about or you will all stop reading. 

In the comments or on twitter, tell me stuff that I should do or try. Keep in mind a budget as I am still trying to pay off my huge shopping spree I took in Vegas. Speaking of, expect my long awaited photo journal of my trip coming this weekend! I promise!!