A Cautionary Tale (#TBT)

Thursday, November 16, 2017

I am a self proclaimed gullible person. I believe in ghosts, bigfoot and the the Lockness Monster. I also recklessly believe in people. I fall into friendship blindly and will trust just about anyone. This is one of my greatest traits, but also a my biggest downfall. Trusting everyone can get you into situations that are not always ideal. So for #Throwback Thursday here is some old photos of some great friends and a story about an old one.

Working in a retail environment is not unlike the hierarchy of high school, you have the popular crowd that everyone wants to be friends with, the group of older adults that feel like your work mom and dad and then you have everyone else -  the group of people dying to hang out with "the cool kids". I was always on the edge of all three groups, never quite fitting in to one box.

I met Monica (we will call her Monica, though that is not her name) while working at a big box electronic store. I had worked there for a while and had recently quit university. I was floundering and looking back she took advantage of that. We hit it off instantly with our shared love of Harry Potter, Makeup and celebrity drama. She seemed so worldly and interesting having lived in multiple countries and continents. I was bored in my life and I reveled in her stories of past trips and experiences.

When Monica broke her arm, I picked her up from the hospital. When her mom was out of town or busy, she came to my home and hung out with my family. When she had little to no friends in her new town, I introduced her to mine. More than one of my friends told me they got a weird vibe off of her, but I ignored it.

We were friends for a little over a year when one day my mom noticed her wedding rings had gone missing from their spot by the kitchen sink while she cooked or cleaned. For months I asked all my friends, including Monica, if they had remembered seeing them. My mom eventually resigned to the fact that they either got thrown into the garbage by accident or fell down the drain. That was until a day in the summer when she received a phone call from her friend whose husband owned a local pawn shop, they had been pawned.

Monica was to be leaving for school in another province the following week, so we were making the most of our time and hanging out constantly. While I was sitting in the car next to her outside of the local movie theater my mom told me that she was the one who took them and that she would be charging her with theft the following day. I went into shock and didn't know what to do. I drove her home in silence, lying that I wasn't feeling well and we should cut the night short. I drove directly to our store and broke down in front of a co-worker who could do nothing but hug me until I stopped Kim Kardashian ugly crying. I told my manager that I could not work with her the following day without punching her out, so he moved her to the late shift and me to the early shift. After that day, I never spoke to her again.

She had betrayed my trust and broke my spirit and I couldn't figure out how I missed it. I am a smart girl and she made me feel stupid. I blamed myself for so long, it was my fault she did it. I later found out that this wasn't her first offence and it probably wouldn't be her last.

A few months later, I messaged her to get an explanation. She ignored me for a while, but eventually sent me a message claiming I didn't know the whole story and that she couldn't tell me why.

To this day, more than 5 years has passed and I still have anxiety about making new friends and trusting anybody. I managed to let down my a few years ago and met my Laura's (these goofs in the pictures). I thank the universe for them and hopefully they know they helped me heal. If I hadn't met them, I probably would still not be able to make new relationships. #CheeseNips.

I did come across Monica a few months ago online. She has since changed her name and seems to have turned her life around and I am sincerely glad to see that. She is in school and runs a blog, a lot like mine. Despite what she did, she taught me to be confident, she introduced me to new food, new books and experiences that I am grateful for. I wish her well and hope she knows that I am finally happy with who I am and she had a small part in that.

So I guess my cautionary tale has taught me that you should try to forgive the apology you never received. I spent a lot of time being mad and stressed and I wish I had let it go a lot sooner.

UPDATE: I wrote this entry without posting for approximately one year. As I sit here today about to post, I have found that her blog and web presence is once again gone. Good luck Monica, wherever and whoever you are.

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