This year is set to be a great one. I have already planned some exciting things with friends and family and have many things I want to do. In our last Lipstick & Liquor (my YouTube channel I share with my bestie Laura) video I discussed some goals that I wanted to achieve in 2016, I am going to add to that list and elaborate on a few here:

1. Wear lipstick more often.

This may seem trivial and weird to you, but I have reasons, so hear me out. I love makeup and I thoroughly enjoy applying it and finding fun new products. I am also not very confident with how people view others that wear a lot of makeup, especially bright or darker shades of lipstick. I want to get out of my comfort zone, hence wanting to wear lipstick more. I have so many nice, expensive ones and I only wear them in videos or when I go to fancy events. I think that I should consider everyday as a fancy occasion.

2. Find my personal style.

I am very plain when it comes to my clothing choices, you could even say safe. I sit on Pinterest and pin clothing that I love, but would never try. I have it ingrained in my head that big girls should cover up and wear what society has laid out for them, but why? I want to step out and carve a niche that is flattering and stylish. I want to invest in statement and quality, but more importantly, I want clothes to be fun and not feel like a chore any more.

3. Become a morning person.

I hate mornings. I hate waking up. I love sleep and staying up late. I think as a kid I tried to stay up as late as possible because I had major FOMO (fear of missing out), now it has caught up to me in my adult years. If you have any tips to making this happen, I am all ears.

4. Go for a walk 3 times a week.

Anyone who lives in Manitoba knows this is no easy feat in winter months. I want to become more active and start some building blocks of a different lifestyle for after my bariatric surgery, and I believe this is a great start. Eventually, I have a long-term goal of becoming a runner, but baby steps.

 5. Declutter.

I want to declutter everything. My things, my life, my desktop. I am currently reading a book called The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing. I haven't finished it yet, but the theory seems simple; tidy things, tidy life, tidy mind. We could all use a clear mind.

6. Read More.

I have always been a reader, but the last few years I have slacked on reading. I enjoy classics and modern tales. I have a shelf full of books just waiting to be cracked open and I plan on reading all of them this year and maybe more. I am planning on doing book reviews on here, so stay tuned for that.

7. YouTube.

I don't have a clear cut idea of how I want this new thing in my life to go. I love YouTube and editing video, creating something with one of my best friends and having something to be proud of. I want to reach people and give them something to enjoy just like I do with my favourite creators. I want to succeed and make a community of like-minded people. So that's my goal, create a community with our channel.

8. Do more things that don't cost anything.

I talked about this one in the video we made. I want to travel as much as possible, with as little funds as possible. This may seem hard, but some of my best memories of trips is doing the things that didn't cost anything. I love exploring parks, and down-town areas of cities. I enjoy driving to new places and blasting the radio as I go. I like baking and crafting. I am tired of relying on the commercial and materialistic for entertainment.

9. Feel better.

This past year, I finally sorted all my health stuff out and am now on a path to being as healthy as possible. I want to get to a point where I don't have bad days, I want to remain on an even keel and not be stunted by problems I have no control over.

10. Get out of my rut.

With all the health things that have gone on and with some less than ideal financial things, I have gotten into a rut and stayed there. I have been doing what is normal and comfortable. I don't want to be here. Revitalizing this blog and my YouTube channel are helping immensely and I have nowhere to go but up, so I am confident that this will change.

Well, that's it for this year, a little lofty maybe, but all more realistic than my usual ideas. Let me know in the comments if you have any tips on making them happen, or let me know what your goals are and maybe I can provide some advice.

Happy New Year!

I want to start off this year with a fresh new start. As you can see, I have redone the theme of my little space on the internet, and I think it is pretty special. Just looking at it makes me feel calm and reminds me of all of my favourite things.

Since my last post quite a few things have happened to me and I am going to tell you about it all over the next while, but today I want to reminisce. I was a bad blogger and neglected Just Paige the last few months and so I am going to do a Zeitgeist of my 2015.

We started off the year on pretty exciting terms. I started my new job and was given a lot more responsibility then I am used to. I think I did ok with it and eventually got used to the new changes that comes with entering a new role, and in my case, a new company. I have learned so much through this new opportunity, things I never expected to know, and I think it has changed me for the better. (que Wicked music)

I turned 25 this year and it was a bit of a shock. I don't feel a quarter of a century old and I am not sure I will ever get used to saying that I am in my "late twenties" now.

I made my first visit to the Weight Wise clinic in Edmonton, which has inevitably changed my life entirely and I will be forever grateful. The clinic was able to give me answers to a lot of health issues that have been plaguing me my entire life. I am still waiting for surgery (Gastric Bypass), but I am getting closer and I have them to thank for putting me on a path to success.

During one of my many trips to Edmonton, we made a side trip to Calgary and spent a weekend with a family friend, Laurel. She took us to Banff National Park and I saw Lake Louise and the beautiful Fairmont hotel. We road the Gondolas, shopped, ate great food and had an amazing time together. We ended the weekend with a trip to meet my new baby cousin Alex, (My cousin Matt and Ivy's son) and Ivy made us the best banana waffles. They rivalled the likes of IHOP (which is my fave breakfast joint). I made memories I will cherish always.

I went on an amazing adventure with two renewed friend

s, Michael and BeeJay. I attended, along with my sister and a few other friends, the travelling show of The Book of Mormon. Though it was extremely offensive (in all the funniest ways possible), I still think it is one of the best shows I have ever seen. That night we also went to do an Escape Room activity, and though we did not escape in time, it was a great experience and I couldn't have imagined a better team to try it with.

This year I also went to 4 concerts. Coleman Hell/DCF, Imagine Dragons, Ed Sheeran and my second time seeing One Direction. Imagine Dragons put on an amazing rock show and is phenomenal live. Ed Sheeran was truly a life altering experience. He does a complete show with just his voice and his guitar. I would jump at the chance to see him again. Both shows were within a couple weeks of each other and made my wait until the best night of my life a lot easier. Coleman Hell & DCF were a pleasant surprise. A cheap night out to The Pyramid in Winnipeg and they are now both two of my favourite artists.

July 25, 2015 will go down in history as one of those nights you still remember 25 years down the road. It may seem a little dramatic for a boy band, but it wasn't just the main event, One Direction, that made the night amazing. I spent it with three of my best friends, Laura, Laura and Kristy, and my big sister, Brianne. We ended up upgrading our not-so-great seats to 8th row from the stage and it was amazing. The crowd was infectious, the music was heart-thumping and my energy was sky high.

The day following the concert, I did something that I have always been terrified of. I got my first tattoo. I was always planning on getting one, but I wanted something meaningful. The arrow is a sign that my friends and I crossed paths at the best time in our lives, the three tails on the end stand for the three of us and the arrow head is a glyph that stands for creativity. It is made even more special by the fact that we designed it together and all came to an agreement two days before what it was actually going to look like.

Another highlight of my year was being asked to be a bridesmaid in my friend Mary's wedding. The dresses are bought, the day is planned and I cannot wait to celebrate her special day with her. I wish her and Paul the best of luck in their future and am looking forward to see what their life brings.

One of the most unusual things that I started this year was my YouTube channel with my friend Laura Wallis. Its called Lipstick & Liquor and is a shining light in my rather dull life. We discuss our favourite things, review the concerts we attend, ramble on about nothing and play games to test our wits. In May, Laura moved away, making YouTube sit on the back burner a little. Though the transition has been difficult, she is only 3 hours away and we have made the best of what it is. I try to visit once and month  and she comes home just as often. We took two months off at the end of the year to really decide what we wanted out of the channel, and I think we have found it. I can't wait to see what opportunities that brings in 2016.

Now that I have written down my favourite things of 2015, I am realizing that my life is filled with a lot more excitement than I give it credit for. In 2016, I want to banish the thoughts that make me think my life isn't full of amazing and show more gratitude towards my little corner of the world. It is these things, events and people that I will remember on the tough days, though they are becoming fewer and farther between. Happy New Year!!

In the comments, tell me your favourite things from 2015!

The Itch.

I am, by nature, a creative person. I crave something to shove my eccentric thoughts into and in my career, this is seriously deprived. I want to create something lasting, something that will follow me and I can be proud of.

I long for a day when I can spend my days immersed in culture and inspiration that can feed this creative monster that has recently been growing inside me. I want to write, I want to dream, I want to soar for the unattainable and possibly...reach it.

If I keep suppressing this side of me, I feel as though it will reach the depths of my being and disappear. I don't want that. What kind of life would I have if it broke away from me? I don't want to live in a world where I can't see that it is cerulean, not blue. Where a book is just words and not a story waiting to be told.  I want to be heard, I want to listen, I want. I want more.

We live in a world where people compartmentalize their lives and don't show their entire self to all parts of their life. I hate the idea that people are not truly being themselves and it really scares me that I have so easily followed their lead. I have slumped and become complacent with just being fine or ok. Its not OK. I want to succeed, possibly need to succeed, but at what cost? Is success and materialistic wealth worth the pressure? Can I live with mediocre? Can I live with so many questions, and no answers?

I want to feel fulfilled and inspired. I want to travel and adapt to a better lifestyle. I want to loose my fear of failure. I am grateful for what I have, but there is more to life and I want to experience it all...

...Someday.

Motivational Monday: Beating the Monday Blues

Are you like me and have a hard time starting the week off right? Is Monday generally your grumpy day? Do you fall asleep at your desk? Then like me, you maybe a sufferer of the Monday Blues.

Historically symptoms have included fatigue, head ache, body aches, extreme moodiness and sometimes even result in overeating and feeling even worse.

So how do we stop it? Well, thats a good question and the answer has eluded me since I developed this problem early in adulthood. You can try and escape it, but it will always sneak up on you. So here's a thought, use your Monday Blues for the better. If you want to be alone for most of the day, be alone, but be productive. Read that book that you have had on your night stand forever. Go for a long walk and try and grab some endorphins. You could also be like me and write your thoughts and feelings down. Try and create a silver lining, make some lemonade...

Well have a good Monday, I hope this has helped you in some way to battle the blues. Tell me in the comments if you have any tips on this or what you like to do when your not feeling up to much.

Byeee!

My New Relationship with Myself

Hello! Long time no talk. I apologise for that. I have been feeling slightly unmotivated, uncreative and lacking in drive to do much of anything these days, but I recently received some news that has given me a push, and I thought I would tell you about it.

As most of you know, about 16 months ago I began a journey of self discovery and a search for a healthy, balanced life. The last year I have had a few set backs health wise and it started to really get me down the last few months of 2014. Then I got the call. A call I had been waiting for. My referral into the Edmonton Adult Bariatric Clinic had gone through and I was finally going to be making the TWELVE HOUR road trip to see the best of the best in weight loss.

My appointment was this past Friday and it was life changing. It turns out I am the way I am (in terms of weight), not just because of bad habits and poor decisions. I have been diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). If this sounds familiar, you probably watched the TLC show My Fat Fabulous Life, which is about Whitney Thore and her journey with this disease.

So what is PCOS? That's a good question. The little I know about it so far is that it is an insulin resistance, not to be mistaken for Diabetes, though it can lead to Diabetes if not treated. Insulin is a hormone that your body produces from sugar. Since my body is resistant to it, it causes massive problems for all my hormones, because they are trying to make up the difference. This causes gynaecological problems, unwanted hair growth, skin problems and unfortunately, hard to loose weight gain.

This, paired with my chronic iron deficient anaemia and digestive issues, is a perfect storm for preventing weight loss. The clinic that I went to is using medication, lifestyle changes and education to help me become more healthy on the inside. Then, once I have completed the expectations set out by a team of health professionals, I will receive Gastric Bypass Surgery. This may seem quite invasive, and to some it may seem like an easy way out. I have asked myself the same questions: Is this just a short cut, should I be just doing diet and excersize, should I keep trying on my own? and the answer is, I can't. I have tried time and again with no success, and with this diagnosis, it will never be possible. This is my means to an end. I need a change and it shouldn't matter to anyone but me how I get there (so long as it is safe and healthy).

The diagnosis came with many emotions, the biggest being relief. It was the first time a doctor has sat, listened to what I had to say, delivered precise questions with no judgement and knew exactly what was wrong. A month ago, I was so lost and floundering, I didn't want to get out of bed. Now I have a new job, a diagnosis and most importantly a light at the end of a very curvy, dark tunnel.

That's it, your all caught up! Leave a message in the comments and share this post on Pinterest and Facebook if you enjoyed it. Hopefully, I will keep this creative juice flowing and continue to inform you on my progress with PCOS and the Edmonton Adult Bariatric Clinic.

THANKS!!

Happy New Year!

This past year I found myself. It was a long search and one that I never thought I would accomplish, but it happened. I went on adventures, I fell into step with some of the best friends I have ever had and most of all, I lived. I stepped out of my comfort zone, I said yes. I stayed up late and had experiences. I travelled and made memories. I discovered a path that was right for me, albeit somewhat winding and messy, but it works. 

I am still walking down that road, but I can see the destination just over the horizon, the city lights casting a glow that excites me to my core. I can see where I want to be, but can still feel where I came from. Hello new year, nice to meet you. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. #2014